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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

i tell myself each day
to be happy
to forget about all the things that can make me upset
but i fail
i fail terribly....
i have no idea why but my life now is making a horrible downturn...
i am losing whom i thot were dear frens to me
becuase i was blind...
blind to face the reality that maybe they were just acting
or maybe because they have changed due to the influence of the people around them.
i not pin pointing only on one person or a thing
but its just everything that makes me break down at night before i sleep and when i am sleeping...
last night was a total night mare for me
my mum sort of detected my feelings and she made me pour out everything to her
in the end she inspired be to forget
inspired me to carry on
and just for her
i am going to try my best...
do anytrhing that i can so that she will be happy
i dont want to regret anything later on in my life
my loneliness maybe killing me
but i want to stay strong
i hope i can stay strong..
for the people arnd me
if u see me in the dumps...
i am so sorry if i make crude remarks to you or anything for that matter
i apologise becuase i dont actually mean it...
my life is so confusing that even i myself cannot figure it out anymore...
i hope i hope and i pray...



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
09:39