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Sunday, May 25, 2008

After so long
i finally decided to do blog browsing
and then when i read yours
i was shocked
i was touched
i cried
i am so touched
yes its you
you have always been there
and never backstabbed
or betrayed be
in any way
the only constant the only one who understands me even more then i do of my self sometimes
i will never forget u
and u definitely have the key to my heart too
i will always love you
dont get be wrong
but i think sometimes ppl have to really say i love you not in that way
to the friends around them
to whom they treasure the most
you are my soulmate forever...
and although we may not have been in the same school since i dunno when
i am glad that our fates let us meet
and even though it died somewhere
it was revived
i will never stop loving you
and care for you
and cheer you up
and make you happy
i love you Janice Tan (:



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
21:56





well there is the circle of life...
and we all noe
it goes in circles
sometimes u swear to learn from ur mistakes and move on
so its either u dont learn from it and fall back another time
or u just cant move on
u realise how much u can miss someone
but do u regret ever toking
no u wont
and do u regret stop toking
definitely
i guess
being a stupid idiot in life is part and parcel of it
but then when u confess it
instead of ideally going for the better outcome
it makes matters worse
suddenly u just dunno wat to do at all
maybe it has all come to a standstill somewhere
but do u have a choice?
NO..
so nvm leave it behind yet again until one day u may have the courage to stand up again
and say it one more time
...
got my report book yesterday
well its so so results onli
and my MSG sucks
how can it be..
but it wasnt realli a shocker cause i sort of calculated it already
BOO..
but nvm....
life has to go on here yet again..
so must work hardcore intensity (:
set back all ur rotten things in life gou jun
look ahead and u will find something special (:



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
09:24




Wednesday, May 21, 2008

life gets worse
even when u bother to try and help someone
to ask around for things
people accuse u indirectly in their sarcastic and very hurtful way
that u are a busybody
who is too free to do things like this and not do more important things...
i mean i was just tryign to help my fren
i dont see why it is wrong helping unless there is sth hidden beneath the surface of it all
maybe there are some things that if were told
would have destroyed certain images of perfectness in the lifes of he
but who knows
life is jus an untold story and each day, the book flip opens telling u different things
some are nice while some are horrible
it makes you cry...
i dunno why but i have become so weak
so weak nowadays
all the time
i burn inside
not for love
but of hate
and sarcasm..
why does it fill me up inside
its all the wrong feelings
all of it is all wrong
but then who can i go to for help
u seem nice
u cared for me
but then sometimes when it comes for us to tok face to face
it all turns out awkward
its all wrong somehow
when u suddenly open ur eyes wider
and see who your true frens realli are...
well i have actually discovered that those who have been my fren since i dunno when for how long
whome until now still stay as where they are
are jus 3 and i mean those who really care
i do have many many frens
many who care
but sometimes things just dont come out well somewhere or some way
so i really have to thanks the constants tat were in my life and are still in my life
bring me up all the time when i am down
when i cry..
thank guys... (:



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
10:50




Tuesday, May 20, 2008

i tell myself each day
to be happy
to forget about all the things that can make me upset
but i fail
i fail terribly....
i have no idea why but my life now is making a horrible downturn...
i am losing whom i thot were dear frens to me
becuase i was blind...
blind to face the reality that maybe they were just acting
or maybe because they have changed due to the influence of the people around them.
i not pin pointing only on one person or a thing
but its just everything that makes me break down at night before i sleep and when i am sleeping...
last night was a total night mare for me
my mum sort of detected my feelings and she made me pour out everything to her
in the end she inspired be to forget
inspired me to carry on
and just for her
i am going to try my best...
do anytrhing that i can so that she will be happy
i dont want to regret anything later on in my life
my loneliness maybe killing me
but i want to stay strong
i hope i can stay strong..
for the people arnd me
if u see me in the dumps...
i am so sorry if i make crude remarks to you or anything for that matter
i apologise becuase i dont actually mean it...
my life is so confusing that even i myself cannot figure it out anymore...
i hope i hope and i pray...



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
09:39




Saturday, May 17, 2008

yay
last week of school... and we are doing enrichment...
well i mean we should make the best use of this week to enjoy...
haha but then sadly i have to do positions papers for the ASEAN summit thing
haha
but nvm.. must be optimisitic... haha
and i am so happy that i am learning my electone again...
the new songs are super nice...makes me feel so magical... like i am flying on the moon!
whoohoo...
and yes after some major problems in my life, after getting out all my feelings i feel alot better...
and i am telling myself not to bother myself with all the wrong things in life now
haha
jia you gou jun...
yay... and then i cant wait for many things to happen to me but yea...
must be patient in life also
haha
ok i shall do some work not i will be screwed later on haha XP
may my life be happy !!!



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
12:26




Wednesday, May 14, 2008

i guessed everything jus has its ups and downs
everything in this world has to change somehow...
so wateva the case i guess it up to mutual decision....
i cried
i teared
i sobbed
not for the lost of something or someone,
but my gullibility
my optimism
my foolishness
my blindness...
i was stupid
i was idiotic
i was weak
i broke down
i thought hard
i cried hard
i tried hard
but everything i guess was just an illusion
and feeble attempt....
but i guess every mistake made is every new experience gained...
for now, i would stay low and covered for a while...
until its all appropraite again...
i am sorry for you
and i sorry for myself..
but what has to be done, has to be done...
and taking for granted or just wishing things to happen around you will never be the same
and if you choose not to act or to react to anything....
then dont ever complain or say that the world is unfair towards you
cause what goes around comes around...
i guess all i have to say is i did gave you my feelings and i was happy
but it jus wasnt what was to last.... as ppl say forever.....
Foster Strong Bonds of Friendship may have been better after all....
But i am a big believer in fate i guess.. so if it was meant to be then even after this things might evolve, if not i guess its jus too bad XD
but yet again
dont get me wrong cause i do want you in my life.. i really do....

this post is dedicated to a person with initials HL. i hope you will read it...



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
07:56




Wednesday, May 07, 2008

OMG
A BIG HUGE BROWN DOG WITH A BELL FROM TH NEIGHBOURHOOD JUST WALKED INTO MY HOUSE AND EXPLORED IT!
SCARED THE LUNGS OUT OF ME... OMG...
THEN IT JUS HAPPILY WALKED OUT...
SCARY SCARY
OMG OMG OMG!!!
ARRRGHH
FREAK OUT



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
22:01





i decided to change my skin cause i was getting bored
so this one is quite neat and nice
haha (:
sian... i want this week to end...
then got all my frens to go our with cause
now they are all having exams... POO!!!
haha
i cant wait to meet janice again (:
yea hugs!
ok i shall quit nagging... and be optimistic until friday
work work work....
FRIDAY! luvs!!!



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
21:46




Sunday, May 04, 2008

I dunno why
this song just gets me to my weakest point
and then i start tearing again....
although the song is meant for a guy to say to a gal
i relate it to so many things in my life....
oh man...
if anyone dedicates this song to me...
i would love the person forever....
i have to stop crying these days....
not i will get super puffy eyes...
boohoo :(



DANIEL BEDINGFIELD LYRICS

"If You're Not The One"

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know whatthe future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms






YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
20:50




Thursday, May 01, 2008

at that moment
all hope is weak
and small.
music and beauty
are salt in my sadness;
a white void rips through my ice
who could have said
that the angel of happiness
was so sad?
or known desire
would melt this
vast winter night
into a flood of darkness
now everything is under snow
a blank page our footprints write on
you were never mine
but always yours.

ok this doesnt even make sense to me why i am writing it..
but its jus a mixture of wat i want to say and wat i quoted from various authors
credits to all this wonderful authors...(:



YYY
love me for whu i am. not whu im not.
16:18